Amicitia Memoria
by darkcherry
Summary: (ABANDONED) [Sequel to Amicitia - AU] Hitomi and Van's life is laid out in front of them. But a turn of events throws new people and places into their lives. Is their love as strong as it was once believed to be? R&R!
1. One

(A/N: Hey guys. Here it is, the much awaited sequel of **Amicitia**! Eee! I'm so excited for it! I don't own Escaflowne any more than I did last story, but I do in fact own all the characters no one recognizes, and the story line from both **Amicitia** and **Amicitia Memoria**. And before the Reviews start comin' in askin' what the title of this story means, it means _Friendship Memory_. So without further delay, here it is, the sequel!)

"Wow," Millerna said as she closed, taped, and labelled another box. "I can't believe you guys are leaving tomorrow night. You're gonna be so far away!" Tears rushed to her eyes and she bit her lip. Allen piled another box near the others and reached over to hug her.

"Don't worry, 'Lerna! We'll visit and call often," reassured Van squeezing her hand lightly. Millerna wiped her eyes and brushed some hair off her face.

"Dammit guys, enough of this moping around. We're gonna have fun your last night here!" Dilandau walked to the door of Hitomi and Van's apartment suite where he had left his jacket. He returned holding a bottle of wine in one hand and a large, half full bottle of Jack Daniels. "Let's get drunk!"

Hitomi laughed at him and said, "Sorry Dilly, I think we packed away all our cups."

"Ah, but no worries my dear, for we will do this!" Dilandau popped the cork, handed the wine to Dryden, and tipped the other bottle up to his lips once the cap was removed.

Hitomi had just taken a sip of wine when the phone, one of the only things left unpacked, rang. Handing the bottle off to her fiancé, she ran to get it.

"Hello?"

"Hitomi!" a high, distant voice cried.

"Merle, is that you?!" asked Hitomi.

"MERLE!" Dilandau yelled in the background.

With a laugh, Merle said, "How's the packing going?"

"Good! How's Rome?"

"It's awesome! Lots of foxy guys!" Hitomi laughed at her friend. "I'll come visit you as soon as I'm back home, alright?"

"Of course! We'll be waiting for you." There was a smack on Hitomi's arm and she turned to see Van gesturing at her. "Van wants to talk to you, I'm gonna go get drunk with the rest of them."

Merle laughed. "Have fun 'Tomi. Take care, hun, I love you!"

"I love you too, Merle!"

Van took the phone from her hands and started speaking with Merle. Millerna ran into the box-filled kitchen, Allen chasing her and trying to steal the bottle she clutched in her hands. Once Allen had gotten a hold of it, Hitomi scooped it easily out of his grasp and drank some.

* * *

The clock read 3:36 as Hitomi and Van finally collapsed onto the mattress and sleeping bags that they were using as a bed until they left. Hitomi rolled onto her side and propped her head up on her arm. Van's eyes were closed until he felt her fingers travel lightly up and down his bare chest, tracing a scar he had from his job as a part time construction worker. The work was hard, the pay was shitty, but it was helping support the two of them.

Van's arm slowly moved to encircle Hitomi and pull her up so she was laying on him and looking down. "You excited for tomorrow?" he asked as he his fingers traced patterns on her lower back.

"Mmm hmm. It'll be scary though. All by ourselves in a huge city; think we can do it?" She laid her flaxen head on his chest and listened to his heart for a while.

After a pause he lifted his head. She felt him move and looked up at him. "Yeah, we can," he said. "We'll be fine." With a smile, Hitomi leaned in and kissed Van chastely. Within moments, he had moved so their positions were flipped.

Running her hands through his hair, Hitomi pressed up against him, loving the feeling of his hands on her back. It only took Van a couple seconds to relieve her of her unneeded shirt and as soon as that happened, both were lost to the world.

* * *

As Hitomi opened her eyes, she saw the blankets covering her body, the sun streaming in the half covered window, and a note lying on the side of the bed.

Gone for another fantastic day at work. I'm off at 5:00. Pick me up? Only ten hours till we're gone! Love you.

Smiling and stretching, she wandered out of their room to have a shower. Fifteen minutes later she was back, towelling her hair and dressed. She left the house leisurely to pick up Van. It took her a long while to drive there but even so she was almost a full half hour early.

He acknowledged her presence with a nod as he helped another man carry some supplies into an old, precarious looking building. Hitomi stood and watched as slowly the workers around the site started to clear things away and park their machinery. She saw a young mother cross the street holding the hand of a small child and smiling. It wasn't until she heard a sound like a gunshot that she turned again. One side of the building Van had gone into was sagging suddenly.

Hitomi's breathing became ragged and she took several steps forward until her fingers were holding onto the chain link fence separating the construction site from the sidewalk. There were more groaning noises and the sound of collapsing concrete and bending steel.

"Van!" Hitomi screamed as she gripped the fence until her fingers were white.

Men and women ran to get a safe distance away from the building as with one final noise, it collapsed in on itself. Hitomi sprinted around to the opening in the fence where cars drove and hurried through it, towards the building.

She was yelling Van's name over and over as she made her way towards the shattered concrete. Someone grabbed her and held her back tightly as she thrashed. "Ma'am, you can't go in there! It's very unstable!"

"Fuck off!" she shrieked in reply. "My boyfriend's in there!"

"Ma'am! You're going to have to wait for the professionals."

Hitomi whirled on the poor young man. "I am not going to wait for people to come help! My boyfriend is in there _now_. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want me standing here waiting for someone to come rescue him!"

"No, ma'am, I must insist that you don't go in there," he replied.

As she turned to move towards the building again, the young man again grabbed her arm and held her back once again. There was a loud noise from the building again as a corner of it collapsed further and some rubble rolled towards the people. Hitomi let out a piercing shriek and fell onto her knees. She cried as she leaned her hands forward onto the ground and threw up.

* * *

"Hitomi? Hunny? Are you there? Well, I'm just calling to check up on you. Call me if you need anything or if there's any more news about Van."

Hitomi's mother's voice filled the kitchen as Hitomi sat slumped in a chair, checking messages on her machine.

"Hello Hitomi. Mrs. Fanel here. Listen dear, I just want you to know, if you need to call us, you can, for any reason, at any time. Alright? Okay... Well, we hope to hear from you soon." Her voice cracked and shook as she tried to hold her tears back for the sake of her future daughter-in-law.

Without unplugging the phone or answering machine from the wall, Hitomi grabbed her backpack that was on the floor of her and Van's apartment. She strode to the door and looked back for a moment. After flicking the lights off, she closed the door and moved quickly down the stairs and out of the lobby to the old car she had shared with Van.

As she drove out of the parking lot and onto the freeway out of the city, a voice cried out over the rubble in the former construction site.

"We've found a survivor!"

(A/N: Well, I'm back. Poor you guys, eh? Of course. I think I'll quite enjoy this story. It's angsty, just like the last one, only in a different way. And I know, I know, I don't waste any time getting into the plat, do I? Review it, guys!)


	2. Two

"Van? Van, hunny, open your eyes."

With extreme effort, Van opened his lids and stared into the bright, clean room. There were several people surrounding the bed he was laying on and his eyes travelled around the circle, trying to pick out someone he knew.

A young woman with pink hair sobbed quietly into the shoulder of a tall, blonde haired man. He patted her back gently and whispered to her. An older woman with dark hair came into Van's view and clutched his hand tightly.

"Van! Oh, Van; thank God you're awake! You've been unconscious for the last three weeks! The doctors said brain activity was going up and you could wake up at any time. We've been here 'round the clock so you wouldn't be alone when you did."

A man with salt-and-pepper hair came up beside the older woman and put an arm around her shoulder. They both beamed down on the young man in the bed who had no clue who they were. When the woman moved in closer to hug him, he caught a whiff of her perfume. His mind was thrown back to what he could still remember.

__

"Don't cry dear. It's just a scrape. I'm sure Hitomi didn't mean to push you off your bike..."

After a moment he opened his eyes and whispered, "Mom... Dad."

A half sob, half sigh came from Mrs. Fanel as she turned to her husband who wrapped her in his arms once again. "They said -" she sobbed, "They said that - that you might never remember anything. Oh, thank the Lord! You remember - you remember Merle and Allen?" she questioned as she gestured to the blonde and pink haired couple. "Dryden, Millerna, and Dilandau couldn't make it, they were busy." She was careful not to mention the runaway bride. "Well, we'll just leave you three alone for a while."

Both of Van's parents leaned in to hug and kiss him gently before saying their goodbyes and leaving. The pink haired girl was still sobbing almost silently.

"Van," she choked out. "Oh, Lord, Van! I thought you were dead when I got the call! Never, _never_, do that again!"

__

"Hey, Merle! How's Rome been treatin' ya?"

"It's awesome Van! I love it here! But I miss you guys. How's 'Tomi?"

"Good! We move in a couple weeks!"

"I remember," gasped Van. "I remember. You were in Rome. I was moving... I don't know why though."

A couple other memories hit Van then: The graduation photo being taken. Their time on the beach. The party the night before his accident. Them in their earlier years of high school, fighting over petty, little things.

He was so sure he could hear seven different voices. But he was sure his mother had only mentioned five others. With him, that was only six. Not wanting to bring up the seventh voice, he turned to his friends that he could now remember a little of.

"Allen?"

The tall blonde nodded. "Van, dude, we've all missed you a lot. It was weird seeing you like this." He turned his head to the ground and wiped a hand across his eyes. Merle reached out to rub a hand gently across his shoulders.

"The nurse said you would probably be out of here by tomorrow, Van! Dilly, 'Lerna, and Dryden said they'd come up with us tomorrow morning. I think visiting hours are over," she looked out the doorway to see people walking towards the exits, "so we should go. But we will be back tomorrow. I love you Van," she said and she bent down to kiss his cheek and hug him gently.

Van and Allen just clasped hands before the two of them exited the room, leaving the raven haired beauty to try and sleep, still hearing the voices of his past echoing in his ears.

* * *

"Jesus!" Hitomi cried as someone ran into her and almost made her drop her platter of food. She gave the man a quick, mad glance and hurried on to deliver the food to the assigned table.

After doing that, she went to take and order. Her stomach started its familiar tossing as she wrote with a pencil on her small pad of paper. Ignoring it, she finished the order and went to deliver it so the food could be prepared. Before she could do that, her stomach gave a huge, warning lurch and she ran to the bathroom and into a stall.

Moments later, she was leaned against the wall of it, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. This was the second week in a row she'd been sick like this! Thinking it had to be where she worked, she stood up and smoothed her skirt over her thighs. As she washed her hands in the sink, Hitomi looked up into the mirror. The circles under her eyes betrayed how she still wasn't sleeping well.

After her shift, she walked to the drugstore, having a sneaking suspicion that something was very wrong with her. She picked out some pills and tests she could do at home for basic illnesses. Hoping nothing else was wrong, she moved to the front of the store where she could buy them.

It only took her ten minutes to walk to her newest apartment; one room with a shared bathroom down the hall. Her landlords were an older couple who she loved and seemed to realize she was down on hard times. She was grateful to this and made time to speak with them every time she went in.

On her way up the stairs to change so she could check for sicknesses, Hitomi head spun and she pitched forwards. Putting both hands on one of the stairs and taking deep breaths, she mentally shook herself, telling her she needed to take better care of herself.

* * *

Van was dressed and ready to go the next afternoon. His parents had granted him permission to go home with his friends. He could remember little things about each one of them, but it still seemed like something was missing. There was a gaping hole when the six of them were together.

Van picked up some cards and knickknacks from the table beside his bed. He saw a ring that must have been removed from his finger just after the accident. Picking it up, he was thrown back again.

__

"Er - yeah, so, what are you doing after we're finished school?"

"I'm not really sure. I'll go to college but I'm not sure where I'll stay or anything."

"Mmm. Can I, uh, ask you something?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Well, um, see - it's like this: I love you a lot. More than anything really. And well, I can't, uh, picture not having you with me and, er, well… Will you marry me? I know we're young. We're not even legal yet but, uh, we can have a long engagement if you want and -"

"Yes. Yes."

"Wha - what?"

"Yes! I'll marry you!"

"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! We're getting married!"

"Will you wear it?"

"Of course I will!"

"I love you Van Fanel."

"I love you too Tomi."

Van's heart lurched in his chest. "Allen. Allen?" His blonde friend walked over. "Who was she?" he asked as he held up the ring.

"Um... Van, I really don't think now is the best time. And I'm not really the best one to be answering that. Maybe you should -" Allen stopped when he saw the glare on his friend's face. "Fine. She was amazing. Someone you knew since you were a kid. You guys got together just over a year ago. You were made for each other." He sounded weary and like he was unsure he was supposed to say this.

Van swallowed. "Thank you."

As all this went on, thousands of kilometres away, Hitomi lay crying on her bed, clutching something and holding her stomach.

"Van! VAN!" she cried. "How could we do this? How? I can't do this alone! I need you! I CAN'T RAISE A BABY BY MYSELF!!!"

(A/N: And I think we'll stop there. Woohoo, this is awesome. I hope you guys liked it. I figure you should Review now. Pwease? For me? Review, dammit! Or else there's no more updates! Muahaha! Thanks guys, you rock! Oooh, and the theme song for this story is **I'll Be Missing You** by **Puff Daddy**:

Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show   
I lace the track you lock the flow   
So far from hanging on the block of dough   
Notorious they got to know that   
Life ain't always as they seem to be   
Words can't express what you mean to me   
And though you're gone   
We still a team   
Through your family I'll fulfill your dreams   
  
In the future can't wait to see   
If you'll open up the gates for me   
Reminisce sometime   
The night they took my friend   
Try to black it out but it plays again   
When it's weird feelin' it's really hard to conceal   
Can't imagine all the pain I feel   
Give everything to hear half your breath   
I know you still livin' your life after death   
  
Every step I take   
Every move I make   
Every single day   
Every time I pray   
I'll be missing you   
  
Thinking of the day   
When you went away   
What a life to take   
What a bond to break   
I'll be missing you   
  
  
It's kind of hard with you not around  
Know you in heaven smilin' down   
Watchin' us while we pray for you   
Everyday we pray for you   
Till the day we meet again   
In my heart is where I'll keep you friend   
Memories give me the strength I need to proceed   
Strength I need to believe   
My thoughts big I just can't define   
Wish I could turn back the hands of time   
Bust in the six hop for new clothes and kicks   
You and me taking flicks   
Making hits stages they receive you on   
Still can't believe you're gone   
Give anything to hear half your breath   
I know you still livin' your life after death   
  
Every step I take   
Every move I make   
Every single day   
Every time I pray   
I'll be missing you   
  
Thinking of the day   
When you went away   
What a life to take   
What a bond to break   
I'll be missing you   
  
Somebody tell me why   
One day morning   
When this life is over   
I know   
I'll see your face   
  
Every night I pray   
Every step I take   
Every move I make   
Every single day   
  
Every step I take   
Every move I make   
Every single day   
Every time I pray   
I'll be missing you   
  
Thinking of the day   
When you went away   
What a life to take   
What a bond to break   
I'll be missing you 

Thanks guys! Until my next update...)


	3. Three

It had been another month since Hitomi had discovered she was pregnant. She was still working in the run down, dirty restaurant. One morning, she came upon a young, blonde man that reminded her of Allen. She was strangely attracted to him in a way she couldn't give a reason for; much like how she couldn't explain how men with dark black hair now made her feel ill.

As she delivered his order of steak and salad, he caught her eye and froze as he picked up his fork. Hitomi stopped all movement too as she tucked a piece of honey coloured hair behind her ear.

"Hi," the man said.

"Hi," Hitomi replied, dumbstruck.

"I'm Gabriel," he intoned, offering his hand and flashing perfect, white teeth.

"Hitomi."

"Nice to meet you, Hitomi. Now what is a nice girl like you doing working here?"

Hitomi laughed for the first time in several weeks. "How do you know if I'm a nice girl or not?" she teased.

He shrugged. "I guess I'm just going on first instinct here."

When Hitomi opened her mouth to speak, a voice came from her left. "Um, excuse me? Could we get more coffee over here, please?"

With a sigh, she turned to go. Gabriel grabbed her wrist gently. "When are you off work?" he asked.

Checking her watch, Hitomi replied, "In twenty minutes."

"Will you join me on a walk then?"

Swallowing, she nodded and wandered off to finish her shift.

* * *

"Here we are, darling," Mrs. Fanel said as she led her son into his old room. His bed was neatly made and there were some clothes piled on it. "You rest up now, you've had a long week." She still didn't mention Hitomi, for no one had been able to reach her. She hadn't gone to the city her and Van had planned on going to together. No one had heard from her since the night of Van's accident.

As his mother left the room, Van flopped onto his bed. When his back made contact with the sheets, he knew something had happened there. He could almost hear the moans and noises of the past. Clutching his hands to his head, he sat up.

"Hitomi, who are you?" he asked his empty room. There were pictures adorning the surfaces in his room and he looked at some of them. There was one of him and a short, slim girl embracing and smiling on a beach. He supposed this must be his Hitomi. There were traces of her everywhere in his life, yet he felt as if she was a friend of a friend; someone he heard of but had never met.

"Did I really love her? How could I forget someone I loved so much?"

A knock came on his door and he called for them to enter. Merle timidly stuck her head into his room and smiled. The smile faded off her face when she saw him holding the picture taken right before their graduation.

"Er, hey Van. Do you want me to leave?"

He shook his head. "No Merle, it's alright. I was just looking at some old stuff, trying to remember a bit more."

Merle went to sit beside her old friend. They made small talk for a while until Van started asking simple questions he should have known the answer to.

"How long have Allen and Millerna been dating?"

"I'm not sure, exactly. They got together right before we graduated."

"Oh." Van looked slightly baffled. "Was that before or after Hitomi and I got together?"

For a moment, Merle looked ecstatic. "You remember?"

"No."

"Oh... Well, it was after. You and Hitomi got together several months before grad. Did you know Dryden and 'Lerna dated too?"

"She told me. But he dumped her, right?" Merle nodded. "And what about you? Who have you dated from our little circle?"

An indistinguishable noise made its way out of Merle's mouth as she looked down, unconsciously rubbing her lower stomach.

"And what about Hitomi? Where is sh -" A knock on Van's door interrupted his question. His mother looked around the corner with the big, brown eyes her son had inherited.

"Van, deary, it's such a nice day. Why don't you and Merle go for a walk?"

He nodded and they left his house. They went several houses down when an older woman with light hair and teal eyes exited her house. She looked at Van. He stared back at her, unable to place her in his mind. "That's Hitomi's mother," Merle whispered, correctly interpreting his look. He nodded in the woman's direction and kept walking.

As they walked through the park talking, a football landed at Merle's feet. She picked it up, looking for someone to claim it. A blonde man came running up, grinning. When he saw Van, the smile disappeared from his face.

"Alex, dude, hurry it up!" a voice yelled from the distance.

He gave Van a dirty look and snatched the ball from Merle, running off. She looked confusedly at Van, half expecting him to remember something about the hate radiating off the other guy. Suddenly, as if on fast-forward, images flashed through Van's mind.

__

He was walking out onto a patio and seeing a pool. A tiny woman - Hitomi - laying on the ground underneath a big, blonde boy. The next second he saw the blonde lying sprawled on the ground while Hitomi was hugging him.

__

"Oh God. Oh God. He was - He was going to -"

"Shhhh, it's okay now. Please don't cry 'Tomi."

__

"I was so scared. I screamed and yelled and no one came. Oh God, Van, no one came. I love you Van. I love you so much. Never ever leave me again please. I missed you. I thought I was going to die. I wanted to but I couldn't ask you to forgive me because I knew I was wrong and I don't deserve you but I love you so much."

"I won't ever leave you Hitomi. Do you know why? Because I love you, alright? Nothing and no amount of time will change it. Oh God. I missed you so much this week. You'll come and stay with me again?"

He was snapped out of his reverie by Merle waving her hand in front of his face. Slightly annoyed, he swatted it away.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I was remembering."

* * *

Hitomi laughed as her and Gabriel walked down a boardwalk near the ocean. He was telling her a joke about a barber and she was laughing so hard she was pretty sure it wasn't good for her.

They stopped outside a bar and he gestured to it. "You wanna get a drink?"

Hitomi was about to say yes when she remembered the baby. "Uh - I can't."

Her newest friend raised an eyebrow. "Why not?" he asked.

"Well, uh... It's just that... Uh..."

"C'mon Hitomi, spit it out!"

"I'm kinda, y'know, uh, pregnant." She whispered the last word so quietly that Gabriel put his hand on her shoulder and leaned in closer to hear her.

"Oh, God! Sorry! I wouldn't have even offered if I had known! Gee, Hitomi, I'm _really _sorry." He sounded so concerned that she brushed him off.

"Don't worry about it! I haven't told anyone, that's all."

He led her over to a bench and they both sat down. "Do you - do you mind if I ask who the father is?" His voice shook a bit. "I didn't think you had a boyfriend. Or is it just a big secret?"

Hitomi took a deep breath, preparing herself to talk about something that she had tried to forget for the past couple months. "I - I did have a boyfriend. We were going to get - get married. He was working on an old building - it was his last day of work before we moved - and it - it fell. He was inside. I watched it fall. There was n-nothing anyone could do. He died. I couldn't stand staying in our apar-apartment or picking up the pieces with his f-family. I - I just needed to leave." By this time she was sobbing so hard that Gabriel had one arm around her shoulder, trying to comfort her.

"Shhh," he soothed her. "You have every right to be upset! This is not an easy thing to get over!"

Hitomi wiped her streaming eyes helplessly. He reached over and used his thumb to brush a stray tear off her cheek.

"I'm sorry I asked," he said to her, quietly.

She hiccupped and rubbed her temples with her fingers. "Don't be. It's about time I told someone these things. It can't be too good for me or - or the baby." It felt good for her to finally say it out loud.

"Let me walk you home," Gabriel offered, standing and holding out his hand to help her up.

When they had gotten to the door of her apartment, she considered asking to come up to her room. Before she could open her mouth, he handed her a piece of paper with a number scrawled on it. She gripped it and he hugged her briefly before turning to go.

"Call me if you need me!" he called. "Hell, call me anyways!"

With a sad smile and a wave, Hitomi turned and walked up the stairs to her room, like she had so many times before. But unlike all those times, she wasn't completely alone this time.

(A/N: So yeah. Another chapter. Has anyone else noticed I pump out chapters so quickly at the beginning but by about the eleventh chapter I'm like, 'yeaaah, maybe I'll update within a year or five.'? I sure have and I think it's kinda funny, tee hee! Well, Review peoples cuz, y'know, I like it. It makes me happy. But not in the pants cuz that'd just be reeeaaally weird. *cringe*)


	4. Four

Van walked down the street by himself. He headed into a grungy looking bar and sat alone on a stool. A petite, redheaded woman wandered over to him and sat, rubbing a little too much of her leg on his. He glanced out of the corner of his eye. True, she was attractive enough, in a fake, glitzy way.

"Hi," she breathed, letting him smell the cherries she had been eating. She held out a hand. "Veronica."

"Van," he replied.

"Nice to meet you, Van."

He mumbled an assent and ordered some hard liquor from the bartender.

Several shots and a couple beers later, Van and Veronica were exiting the bar together and hopping into the woman's sleek, red car. It started to rain as they drove and by the time they Van stumbled from the car and towards the door of Veronica's apartment, the drops were heavy and falling quickly around them. Before stepping inside, he opened his mouth and let several drops find their way down his throat.

Almost as soon and Van had stepped into the well furnished apartment, Veronica was right in front of him, coming closer every moment. He tripped backwards onto her bed and within seconds she was on him, crushing her mouth onto his. Through all the liquor and haze that was filling his mind, something vaguely told Van that this wasn't what he should be doing. But with her body and his own urging him on, he didn't stop it.

Only when things had progressed farther and both were heaving for breath, did Van look down for a moment and notice for the first time that Veronica had blue eyes. Something hit him hard in the stomach then. The same something that was telling him that this wasn't right. Then he realized what exactly had made him sit up and stop.

Her eyes weren't green.

"What is it?" she asked him.

"I - I can't do this."

"Why not? Van?" Veronica's voice called after him as he grabbed his things and ran from her home out into the rain.

As he stood there, the rain soaking his white shirt, his brain froze and he saw some things he knew weren't really there. Like on fast forward, he was thrown into his past. Van saw green eyes then Hitomi crawling through his window, covered in bruises and cuts. Then he felt a note in his hands. Looking down, he saw nothing. But he could still remember what it said._ I'm in love with you_.

He remembered the feeling he had the first time he kissed her. How he held her. They had depended on each other for every little thing. And they liked it that way. He remember how she had traced the scar on his chest and what had followed, the night before his accident. His hands on her skin, her lips on his face and hands.

Taking in a huge, shuddering breath, Van came back to himself and realized he was standing in the middle of a road, soaked to the bone, and completely alone. But he could remember. He remembered her. The one he had spent almost every night lying awake wondering about. He could remember everything about her.

His Hitomi.

- - -

In the next couple months, Gabriel was always with Hitomi, making sure she ate the right things, got enough sleep, always made her doctor's appointments on time, and didn't strain herself or the little person growing inside her. He seemed to be trying quite hard to help her pick up the pieces of her formerly shattered life. Little by little, she opened up to him and let him know exactly what had happened to make her run so far from home.

She got a new, better job sorting through papers and taking down notes for other secretaries in a huge company. The pay wasn't that good, but with the baby starting to show, she was thankful she didn't have to be on her feet all day long.

Even though Hitomi was content a lot of the time, there were times when she knew this wasn't how her life was supposed to be. When Gabriel would take her out shopping and suggest certain foods or clothes or shoes for her to buy, she would see people smile at them, supposing they were a happy couple with a new baby on the way. This made her long for the father of the baby even more.

She tried to stay happy for Gabriel's sake. If he saw her moping around, she knew he would watch her like a hawk and shower her with attention and gifts she did not want. This is why, one night as Gabriel slept on her couch, she lay in her bed, clutching her growing stomach tightly and choking on her own tears. She was sobbing so hard, she didn't hear her friend enter the room and come up behind her.

"Hitomi?" he questioned, tentatively, as he lay a cool hand on her back. "Wanna talk?"

When she said nothing, he moved around the other side of the bed and lifted the sheets nervously. He slid in beside her and she moved to be closer to him. Gabriel wrapped an arm around her and made soothing noises as she cried.

"It's so unfair!" she cried suddenly.

He pushed her off of him for a moment and looked at her face. "When has life ever been fair? You told me about how you were treated at home Hitomi, was that any fairer than this? Was it fair that my mother died before I was even old enough to remember her? Is disease fair? Do you think the hundreds of victims of floods and earthquakes don't sit there and think about how _unfair_ it is that they just lost everything? Life isn't fair, Hitomi. You may not like that, but you have to accept it."

She lie on her side staring at him. Her fair hair was messed and her protruding stomach looked out of place on her small body. She wasn't sobbing any longer; the tears were running down her face silently now. With a gasp, she threw herself onto Gabriel in a hug and he smiled.

After a few moments of rubbing her back and hair comfortingly, he moved to get up and go back to the couch. Hitomi made a noise of discontent and he stopped moving and lay with her. They fell asleep like that and neither moved until the next morning.

- - -

"Careful Hitomi!" Gabriel called to her as she carried a lamp into his apartment.

She giggled as she realized how odd she must look. A seven-month pregnant woman carrying a lamp balanced on her belly. Gabriel came and relieved her of her load. He was extremely protective of his friend, if making her move into his apartment was any indication of this.

Hitomi waddled into the room that was to be hers and saw, along with her small bed, a large box sitting on the floor. She moved towards it and saw it enclosed a crib. Letting out a shriek of excitement, she moved as quickly as was possible for her out to Gabriel. He set down her box of things as she enveloped him in a hug.

"What were you thinking?" she asked.

"I thought maybe your baby could use a place to sleep."

When he said that, Hitomi realized how unprepared she was to have a child. She didn't know anything about raising a baby! Suddenly overwhelmed, she sunk down onto a box sitting behind her.

"Hitomi?"

She blinked. "Sorry. I just realized that I have no clue what I'm going to do when the baby's born."

Gabriel laughed. "Well, you and the baby will stay here with me still. Speaking of which, what're you going to name the little man?"

"How do you know it's a boy?"

"I can feel it," he said, tapping his temple. "He's going to be strong and manly like his mother."

She smacked him on the shoulder and he laughed at her. "I don't know what to name him," she admitted.

With another grin, Gabriel brought his hand out from behind his back. In it was a book full of baby names. Hitomi's eyes widened and a smile crossed her face.

"You should really stop buying me things," she told him.

"Maybe you should stop complaining when I buy you things," he replied.

She took the book gently from his hands as he picked up the box with her things again. He moved into her room as she started to look up meanings and names. When he popped his head out of her room to check on her, he found her completely absorbed, the light behind her making her look like she was glowing and casting shadows across her high cheekbones.

(A/N: Well, here we are, another chapter. I almost made Gabriel gay but decided against it. I just couldn't picture him like that. He seems like the suave, sexy man that plays very hard to get to me. But next chapter, or the one after, I will probably introduce a gay character just because I've always wanted to do that. I hope you guys like him a little more than you seem to like Gabriel. Eep. Anywho, please Review this mon amies! I am in need of some ego boosting! P.S: Fanfiction is being stupid and not letting me do asterixes ANYWHERE anymore... Waaaaah!)


	5. Five

"Hi," he said, knocking quietly on her door as he entered her room.

She turned to look at him, her hair bobbing around her face. "Oh, hey."

"Long time, no see, eh?"

"Oh yeah, I've just been busy, I'm sorry." She looked genuinely so.

He shrugged and sat beside her on her bed as she sorted through papers. A piece of her short hair fell into her face. Before she could reach up to move it, his fingers had tucked it behind her ears. Her mouth was straight and her eyes serious as she looked up at him.

"Do you - do you ever think about what happened?" he asked her suddenly.

Not knowing what had brought on the sudden change of mood in her friend, she fiddled with her long nails nervously. "Sometimes," she replied honestly. "How could I not?"

With another shrug he said, "We talked about it. Just friends, right?"

Instead of answering out loud, she nodded her head. "It's better like that, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he said. After a moment he shook his head, and opened his mouth to speak again. "No, it isn't. I - It's just that - I just can't -" He couldn't find the words he was looking for. Running his hands through his hair desperately, he took a deep breath. She watched him carefully as he tried to regain composure. Lacking anything better to do, he leaned slowly forward and captured her mouth with his own. His hand came up underneath her chin to cradle her face.

After a moment of kissing her gently, he backed off enough so she could breathe. "I - I'm really, _really_ sorry. I didn't mean to get out of control like that," he admitted, sheepishly.

Finally she let out a breath. Her face was centimetres from his and she looked into his eyes. She took another huge gulp of air. When she let it out, the feeling of her breath on his neck almost made him grab her and kiss her again.

"Um, yeah, I'm going to be going now. Definitely going to be going now. I'll just -" As he mad a move to leave her bed, she grabbed him round the neck and pulled him back in to kiss her.

After he sat back, gasping for breath, she looked at him angrily. "What the hell took you so long?"

He grinned as he kissed her again.

- - -

"Gabriel? Gabriel. _GABRIEL_!"

"Huh? What is it Hitomi? Its," he rolled over and looked at his clock, "four thirty in the morning."

"Yeah, I know," she replied. "But, uh, I think we need to go."

"Go?"

"_Go_."

"Go wh- Oh. Oh, shit! Hitomi, be careful!" He jumped out of his bed and ran over to his friend. She stood in his door with her nightgown covering her now large stomach. Both of her hands rested on her stomach and her breathing was laboured.

Gabriel grabbed onto her shoulder and put his other hand on her lower back to escort her from their flat. Suddenly she grabbed his hand and let out a low moan, bending as far forward as her stomach would allow.

"Remember the breathing Hitomi. In, out, in out." He demonstrated for her.

Once she was safely in the passenger side of his old car and they were on their way, he allowed himself a deep breath. "Are you in pain?" Hitomi laughed at him.

"Don't be so panicky, Gabriel. I'm alright." She sounded tired.

- - -

Van lie in his bed, thousands of miles away. He looked at his clock. Sleep was still evading him after almost four hours. Something was keeping him awake and he couldn't see what it was. Once again, his eyes fell on the picture of him and Hitomi. He wasn't exactly sure why he hadn't bothered to take it down but something told him to keep it up. The same something that was keeping him awake.

He could have sworn he heard the cry of a baby right before drifting off to sleep.

- - -

"Why hello!" A man in a green nurses uniform entered Hitomi's hospital room. "I'm Steve and I'll be your nurse for this morning."

Hitomi gritted her teeth as another contraction hit her. They had been coming more and more frequently for the last several hours.

"Man oh, man, that was a big one," Steve said, handing her a cup of ice. "Now where is your boyfriend?"

"Who?" Hitomi asked, sticking an ice cube in her mouth. "Gabriel? Oh, no, he isn't my boyfriend. We just live together."

"Sorry, luv. Where is that big hunk of man then?"

"Ran to get some coffee, I guess," she responded.

Almost before the sentence was out of her mouth, Gabriel came hurrying into the room. "Everything under control here?" he asked.

Steve looked at the blonde man in front of him. He reached up and flicked some of his dark hair off his face. "Everything's just fine now."

Hitomi stifled a laugh. Either Steve had taken too many hospital pills, or he was _very_ gay. Gabriel eyed him oddly and backed up to sit on the chair near his labouring friend. He let out a cough-sigh and diverted his eyes from the other man in the room.

Another, older nurse came waltzing into the room to check on Hitomi. When she saw the situation, she laughed. "Steve! You're going to scare our patients if you're not careful."

"Sorry," he muttered. "I'm going to go check on Mrs. What's-her-name down the hall. I'll see you later." He winked in the general direction of Gabriel and Hitomi laughed again.

The nurse sighed and came to take Hitomi's pulse. "Sorry about Steve. He's the only male nurse in the ward. Not that it shows. I don't think I have ever seen such a flaming homosexual in my life." She shook her head. "But we love him, dear thing that he is." Then she left the room, muttering.

Gabriel let out a deep breath. "Wow, that was a first. Never thought I'd see the day where _I_ was hit on by a male nurse."

"I think he's cute!" Hitomi said honestly. "Definitely boyfriend material."

Gabriel wrinkled his nose. "Sorry, don't swing that way."

There was a noise from the door and Steve wandered in, giving a little wave. Hitomi was hit with another contraction and she let out a cry. "Easy there hunny!" the dark eyed and haired man cried.

Gabriel grabbed her hand and she bit down on her lip until he was afraid it would start bleeding. "Hitomi! Look at me. Look at me!"

She opened her eyes slowly. They were sparkling with tears of pain and the green stood out prominently from her pale skin. There was a small trickle of blood running from her lip.

"Oh, Jesus," Gabriel whispered.

"Uh oh, hunny. You just hang on tight here, alright? I'm going to go get your doctor; you're progressing quite quickly. Be back in a snap!" Steve moved quickly out of the room.

"You're going to be alright, everything'll be fine."

Hitomi let out a moan. "It hurts."

"We went to classes for this, remember? They said it would hurt. Just keep breathing."

As soon as Gabriel reminded her of that, she took a huge breath and closed her eyes to calm down. Steve came hurrying back into the room bringing a young looking female doctor in after him. They went to work quickly on Hitomi and got everything set up for delivery.

While the hospital staff was busy below Hitomi's waist, Gabriel focussed on cleaning up her mouth. After almost an hour of intense pain for Hitomi, there was a loud cry.

"It's a boy!" the doctor announced.

"Told you," Gabriel said, smoothing damp hair off his friend's face.

Steve held the baby while the doctor got everything in order for the cord that was still attaching him to Hitomi to be cut. She held up scissors for Gabriel. He turned to Hitomi.

"May I have the honour?" he asked seriously.

"Go nuts," whispered Hitomi hoarsely.

After Hitomi and her son were separated, Steve wrapped him up and handed him to her. All of the staffing left them alone in the room to celebrate quietly. Gabriel bent down to kiss Hitomi's cheek softly.

"Isn't he beautiful?" she asked, looking up at her friend with wide eyes.

"He is kinda pretty," was the reply. "Decided what to name him yet?"

"Tomo. I'm going to call him Tomo."

(A/N: Brownie points to anyone who can figure out who the two people were at the beginning. Review so I will update!)


	6. Six

(A/N: I don't own Jewel or any of her music. Teeheeeee.)

Hitomi held tight - but not too tight - to the bundle in her arms as her and Gabriel stepped out of the hospital's dark interior and into the bright sunlight. When the light hit Tomo's face, he turned in Hitomi's arms. Turning back, she saw Steve's huge smile and him still waving from a window. She waved back as she clutched the paper with his phone number on it and slid into Gabriel's car.

When they arrived back at their flat, Hitomi immediately put the sleeping baby into his crib and came back out into the kitchen where Gabriel was cooking something on the stove. She wrapped her arms around him from behind and he set down his cooking utensils and turned to her. They stood silent for several moments, just holding onto each other.

For the first time, Hitomi noticed how weary her friend looked. "You should go shower then sleep," she said. "You look like hell."

He rolled his eyes. "Thanks, that's exactly what I needed to hear a day after birthing a baby."

"Need I remind you that I was the one that actually did the birthing?" Hitomi asked.

Gabriel shrugged and said, "So what? You actually had the kid but I had to deal with all the fatherly stress."

Hitomi's smile faded a bit at that. Knowing exactly why, the blonde man came closer to her and wrapped her in a one armed hug. He kissed her gently on the forehead. "I'm gonna go shower, take over the cooking, will you?"

She nodded and picked up the formerly abandoned utensils to finish his concoction that slightly resembled a scrambled omelette. As she went to check on her son, she heard the shower start up. What she couldn't figure out was how she could feel so happy, yet empty at the same time. She had something new to live for. But she couldn't help thinking that her original reason was long gone.

I hear the clock, it's 6 a.m.  
I feel so far away from where I've been  
I got my eggs, and my pancakes too  
I got my maple syrup, everything but you  
I break the yolks and make a smiley face  
I kinda like it in my brand new place  
I wipe the spots off of the mirror  
Don't leave the keys in the door  
I never put wet towels on the floor anymore 'cause

"I still miss you Van," she whispered quietly as she looked down at their son. "And I love you."

- - -

Dreams last so long, even after you're gone  
I know that you love me  
And soon you will see, you were meant for me  
And I was meant for you

"Yes, Merle's up in her room." Merle's older brother looked out their front window. "Oh, and Dilandau's car is here so he's probably chilling up there too."

"Thanks," Millerna replied before she led the other three through the house.

She opened the door of their friend's room after knocking quietly. As soon as she entered, her eyes softened and she admired something. When Van, Allen, and Dryden stepped into the room, they could see what she was looking at.

Merle and Dilandau were curled up on her bed sleeping. The way that he was holding onto her let Millerna see, though only one of the boys caught it, that something had changed. Allen came up behind his girlfriend and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. For several minutes, no one did anything except admire the sleeping couple.

Van scuffed his foot on the ground roughly. He was happy for his friends, sure, but that didn't mean he didn't envy them. And it wasn't the fact that they had someone now, it was that he missed his former life. His life had left him and run to another city. For all he knew, she could be with another man. The thought agitated him and he pounded his hand on the side of his leg.

I called my momma, she was out for a walk  
Consoled a cup of coffee but it didn't wanna talk  
So I picked up a paper, it was more bad news  
More hearts being broken or people being used  
Put on my coat in the pouring rain  
I saw a movie it just wasn't the same  
'Cause it was happy, oh I was sad and  
It made me miss you oh, so bad

Dryden rolled his eyes and walked forward towards their sleeping friends. "We gonna stand here all day and watch them sleep or are we actually going to go see this movie?"

"What?" The stars faded from Millerna's eyes. "Oh, yeah. We should wake them."

Her old ex-boyfriend shook his head, smiling. He reached out and shook Dilandau's arm lightly. "Hey man, we wanna go see this movie. You guys coming?"

Dilandau sat up which, in turn, work Merle. She rubbed her eyes and blinked up at her friends with large eyes. "Sorry," she muttered and stretched. Dilandau helped her off of her bed and within five minutes, they'd all tramped down the stairs and out of her house, her calling goodbyes over her shoulder.

The movie they went to was an old horror. The people on the movie screamed as zombies chased them down streets. Most of the people in the theatre - them and a handful of others - laughed as the camera zoomed in on the faces of the walking dead.

Van laughed along with his friends, but only on the outside. Since the accident, he had become more withdrawn. His family and friends had thought that only natural after sustaining memory loss and losing his partner. They could see he was slower to laugh or enjoy things and it had worried them until they realized that he was bound to change after the mental and physical injuries he had experienced.

After the movie, he walked home by himself, insisting he would be alright. Once he had entered his room, he lay on his bed and studied the picture of him and Hitomi. He found himself looking at it more and more often, wondering each time how someone who had claimed to love him so fully had left him in his one time that he needed her more than ever.

I brush my teeth and put the cap back on  
I know you hate it, when I leave the light on  
I pick up a book, and turn the sheets down  
And take a deep breath and a good look around  
Put on my PJs and hop into bed  
I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead  
I try and tell myself it'll be all right  
I just shouldn't think anymore tonight

For the first time, he let the grief he had felt since he remembered everything overcome him. Rolling onto his side, he bit his lip until he thought it would bleed. He brushed at his eyes brutally once and then sat up. Wandering over to his window, he could see the tree beside Hitomi's house. It only took him moments to crawl out his window, move to the tree and climb up into its branches. He sat there until he thought he would fall out of it from exhaustion.

"Goodbye Hitomi," he whispered before he crawled down from his vantage point. "I'll miss you."

- - -

Within the next several weeks, Hitomi, Steve, and Gabriel watched Tomo flourish. His weight doubled and he opened his eyes more often to look at them. Hitomi was happy her baby seemed healthy but she couldn't help but wonder why she had yet to see him smile. He would make noises and cry but neither had heard anything that resembled a laugh.

His hair darkened until it was a dark brown - somewhere between the colour of hers and Van's - and sometimes, when she saw his eyes, she would burst out crying. Gabriel came running in, on more than one occasion, to see her holding onto her son and sobbing.

"His eyes," she would gasp out each time. "So much like Van's." And she would cry again.

Gabriel would try to sooth her, knowing that it really wouldn't do much but he felt unable to watch her cry and sit helplessly. Sometimes he wondered if she actually was recovering. He knew her baby gave her another reason to be happy, but he couldn't help but think she was missing something else.

One night she was sitting on the couch, watching a television program and Gabriel was watching her. She was curled up and playing gently with her hair. When she turned and saw him staring at her, she smiled gently and stood up. She sat herself gently on his lap and put her head down on his shoulder. He hugged her and brushed her hair back slowly.

After a while she looked back up at him and he saw the tears streaming slowly down her face. He didn't think before leaning forward slowly and kissing her. Feeling her hesitate, he pulled back and looked into her eyes. She opened them and stared at him for a second before kissing him this time.

This went on for almost a quarter of an hour before Gabriel finally came to his senses. When he removed his mouth from hers, Hitomi took a deep breath.

"Please don't stop. I don't want to be cold anymore."

When he heard her say that, his heart almost broke. She watched as the pain he felt played across his face. Knowing she was the cause of it, she wanted to comfort him. Watching him uncertainly, she moved so she could kiss him again. He didn't respond, but pulled back again.

"Hitomi," he said seriously. "I'm not what you need. No matter how much you or I want me to be, I'm not."

Her eyes filled again but she didn't cry as he picked her up and carried her to her room. He set her in her bed and covered her with her blankets. She looked so small as he leaned down and kissed her softly beside her mouth.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly as he got up to go.

"Don't be. Ever."

You were meant for me and I was meant for you

(A/N: Hey guys. This chapter was a li'l sad. Mostly cuz I'm kinda sad. We won't go into it, okay? Okay. Well, here's a poem I wrote about a certain someone; I think it fits this chapter quite well. Please ask permission if you want to use it or take it or anything!

When I see you walking

I still cannot believe

How I can't stop staring

How I can hardly breathe

I've never met a person

Who can make me want to cry

Yet when I'm truly falling

Save me before I die

I know you don't get it

But I truly do

I mean it every time

I tell you I love you

How can I tell you

How I truly feel?

I know that if nothing else

You and me are real

I wish you would hold me

I wish I'd never gone

You can still deny it

But my love will still go on

I don't think I've ever missed anyone this badly

Review please. Cheer me up, will you? And cudos to all that guessed the coupling the last chapter was Merle and Dilly.)


	7. Author's Note

Hi guys. I have some bad news for you:

I'm not finishing this story.

I'm sorry, I really am. I know what I want to happen in the end but the writing isn't flowing properly enough for me to write this. Writing stories, for me, has always been something effortless. I've found that I'm struggling far too much with _Amicitia Memoria_ for it to be an enjoyable writing experience for me. An idea popped to my mind since deciding that this story would go unfinished:

I will take offers if anyone else wants to finish this. There will be some conditions etc., so email me ) if you're interested in finishing this story.

If you would like to know the ending I had in store before (_if)_ anyone starts to finish this, again I ask you to email me. I am sorry for ending this story; it had potential despite how much I struggled with it. This will be deleted from within the next several months because I want the ending chapter of _Amicitia_ to be the last you see of these characters from me. I'll make a point of not deleting this story until someone else starts posting it (if that is the case). So, with no further ramblings from me, I bid you adieu and happy reading with any stories you may encounter.

brettley xxxxx


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